What it Means to be a Godparent
Traditionally, a godparent was selected as part of the common religious practice of baptism. Once the entire family traveled for baptism, and the ceremony was part of the birth process. At that time, the parents chose a ‘god’ parent or two to promise to be responsible for the child’s upbringing, including the religious education and instruction. The family wanted the assurance of regular church attendance and support in the event of the death of a parent or the inability of a parent to care for the child. Traditionally, the responsibility of the godparent was holding the child to the baptismal vows in addition to providing material, financial, spiritual, and emotional support. The godparents selected could be the same as those who would serve as guardians for the child in the event of the death of a biological parent or a parent unable to care for the child. An encyclopedia published in the early 1900’s summarized this role as the following: "One who stands sponsor for another; (or) To take charge of; to manage , as a charity".
In modern times, the role for some has evolved to one that includes attending milestones and special events as the child grows. The care and concern for the child as they navigate childhood and early adulthood remains, however, and is carried out in a less formal manner. They may be relied upon for childcare, medical or emotional support or will be present at milestones such as graduations and future wedding celebrations. But the expectation of the potential for guardianship is less as the result of today’s dual income families, grandparents who are often the caretakers and babysitters in present day, and the more formalized legal paperwork specifying guardianship.
Importance of Godparent Legal Paperwork
Why is such legal paperwork so important? Parents are wise to recognize that even when there are two loving parents, there can be disputes both before and after the death of one of them. It is often better to have documentation for everyone’s peace of mind.
There may be insurance policies or custodial accounts that have been set up for a child which may include beneficiaries such as a godparent. Well-meaning relatives or friends who believe that they are acting on behalf of a child can incur expenses to themselves or others if they make medical or financial decisions without the consent of parents or without consent at all. Parents can appoint someone themselves to act on their behalf when it comes to medical or financial decisions.
A thorough discussion of godparents involving parents, potential godparents, and family members can resolve potential areas of friction, or at least clarify the intentions behind a godparent’s role; however, such discussion is not legally binding. Creating a legal document appointing someone as a godparent, guardian of the person and/or property, or representative can address those concerns and clarify that the parent intends for the individual to take a very limited role or a much broader one. Legal documents can also limit the ability of a person to act and ensure that someone else, such as a surviving parent or a relative, will act instead.
Godparent Legal Paperwork Types
Unfortunately, there is a lot of "misinformation" on the internet regarding what type of advice one should have in the area of Godparents. A lot of people are under the impression that their Godparent role is equivalent to or synonymous with guardianship. This is not correct. A Godparent is not a guardian and does not protect a child in the event of a parent’s death. Guardianship is PROTECTION; Godparenthood is OPTIONAL. There is no requirement in the law that this is an elected choice.
As for Will distribution, Godparents are just that….a friend of your family to whom you have asked to care for your child(ren) in the event of your death, should the ultimate disaster occur. The reference to "God" is not a requirement, it is a reference to religion and religion is not a requirement to be a Godparent. This is simply a general religious title meant to identify your friend amongst your family that you have chosen to be that responsible party in the event that both parents die.
Therefore, one should NOT include Godsibling status in their Will in the event of a parent’s death. Their Will is to be reviewed by their attorney and upon a parent’s passing, the Will is to be filed in his/her respective County of residence immediately after death and then admitted to the Surrogate Court for adjudication of probate.
In addition, should one wish to memorialize the basic premise regarding Godparents, there is the option to create a Power of Attorney for Godparents. This Power of Attorney will allow one to LEGALLY identify the Godparents as a responsible party in the event of a medical emergency requiring immediate attention. The Godparents are required to honor this document fully even if they are the ones that are in need of this document.
Other forms of Godparent legal paperwork include: (a) Living Wills; (b) Do Not Resuscitate Orders; (c) Guardianships; (d) Health Care Proxies; (e) Healthcare Advance Directives; (f) Wills.
Preparing Godparent Legal Paperwork
The child’s parents should consult with a lawyer to draft the godparent legal paperwork. In most cases, simply naming the godparents in the will should suffice; though additional documents can provide further assurances for the family should a tragedy occur.
When a child’s parents die, the adopted godparents will petition the court to be named guardians of the child. If an individual’s religion prevents them from adopting a child, they can still be named as legal guardian provided the will is valid and executed properly.
All paperwork pertaining to godparents should be prepared by a reputable lawyer. A lawyer will determine whether any other evidence is needed, such as a notary to make the paperwork legally binding. Properly preparing wills, draft trust and guardianship documents will help all parties feel assured that they are covered in case something were to happen to the primary parents.
Legal Boundaries and Responsibilities for Godparents
The godparentship can be a nuanced role. It can mean very different things to the parents and the child. So much so that it means something entirely different in many parts of the world.
For example, in some countries, such as the UK, godparents are an informal part of a child’s life, but have no legal responsibilities (or defined relationship with the child). In others, such as France, a godparent can be given legal responsibilities, but not financial ones. In the United States and Canada, the godparent role has a more pronounced religious aspect. It is given to those who promise to help raise the child spiritually.
Because the United States see the parent’s role as paramount, there are usually no legal limitations on the responsibility of the godparent. Here are some of the godparent’s typical responsibilities:
At this point, there are two different kinds of godparent: those who share or expect to share responsibilities with the parents and those who do not. Some, such as the parents of the child, consider the former a parent-like role. Others have a more hands-off approach, in line with the reserved legal responsibilities of the role as seen in countries like France.
For this reason, domestic arrangements are often made between the parents of the child and the godparent(s). These arrangements, made through a domestic contract, specify how much authority the godparent will have over the child and to what extent they will be involved in her life. They can also indicate whether the godparent will assume legal rights to the child if something should happen to the parents.
If the parents were to die or become incapacitated in some way, the godparent would retain many of the responsibilities of a parent. This would be true regardless of any arrangement or lack thereof made between the parents of the child and her godparents. Why is this the case? Because if the parents are unable to care for the child, the primary caregiver or guardianship shifts to the godparent.
Many people see this as a good backup plan , but it has its downsides. If the child does not get along with her godparents, for example, nothing can be done about it. The decision always lies with the godparent.
For many people, the best solution is to put these arrangements in writing with a legally-binding document. In this way, the parents can indicate that they would prefer a stranger to ser their child’s guardian than her godparents. A contract can also give the godparent additional authority over the child’s educational, health, and social lives, if desired. It can be confusing to have a godparent who has ultimate authority in those areas, but is not actually a parent. Without any kind of paperwork, there is little way around it.
When it comes to deciding the limits of the godparent relationship, there are many roles to be taken on. The primary responsibilities are listed above, but each of them can be described in detail, such as whether there are limits on discipline or educational authority. At the same time, the role is defined by what is not taken on; many parents choose to keep a godparent uninvolved in their child’s life as a means of passing on money or acquiring more favorable tax brackets.
Domestic contracts can also specify the actual order of responsibilities, such as whether the parents of the child would be responsible for secondary education or whether they would hand over all legal rights to the godparent. Because their roles are somewhat undefined, even if a godparent is given control of a child’s social and educational life, the parent retains most aspects of the relationship — such as the right to shape the child’s beliefs and influence friendships.
Therefore, the relationship may be closer, or more distant, depending on the specific wants and needs of the individuals involved. The only limits are the ability and willingness of the individuals to recognize the arrangement as valid. While Godparents usually do not have legal responsibilities, they can, in certain cases, negotiate the terms of their relationship with the parents and child.
State Requirements and Variations in Godparent Legal Customization
State-specific requirements and variations
As is the case with many other laws, the requirements and legalese that a godparent must sign on to can be a bit tricky and unique to each state. Sputtering through the stack of paperwork, signing dot after dot, can leave you wondering what other parent you just agreed to something for and whether or not you will be taking over legal guardianship of some drooling baby.
To address the first question, most states will have you sign something similar to an affidavit similar to the one detailed above. The document will verify that you understand your role as a godparent. If the document asks for consent of the biological parent(s), it means you are okay with taking care of the child if the parent(s) become incapable of taking care of them, or passes away.
If you are signing up to be a godparent to multiple children, you may be asked to sign a separate affidavit for each child, which will come in convenient later when you have to compare IF a specific document of legalese happened to specify a particular child.
Another document that may need to be signed is a statement of commitment, which is more of an agreement between you and the parents. This document recognizes the classic "you got my back, I got your back" relationship – with a few fancy words thrown in. If both biological parents sign, you can use this document to prepare for the event that both parents were to unexpectedly pass away. If one parent signs, you are still legally covered but the document is less enforceable.
If you have questions about what a specific document means, or what you can be held responsible for, it is always best to talk to an attorney who specializes in family law in your state or country. The process of becoming a godparent is fairly easy, the unique issues await after the documents have been signed.
Revisiting and Reviewing Godparent Legal Paperwork
The need to review and update godparent legal paperwork is critical if there have been changes in circumstances that may affect the changes to the parties involved. For example, when there are divorces, remarriages, new births within the family, or change of address of the agent. In some instances, the connection of the principal to the godparents may have changed. In the eyes of the law, they would no longer be considered the agent for the principal .
As with all legal matters, any situation that may warrant a change in the documents should be reviewed by an attorney. It’s wise to periodically review and update these legal papers, just as you would any other estate documents, such as a will or living trust.
It is strongly advised that individuals keep copies of any documentation that may be necessary to assist your children in the future. It also would be a good idea to let your children know where you keep these important documents, so they can access them in the future.